Shontelle's Impossible is absolutely amazing. It's on repeat. Surprise.If you look at the last time I updated this blog, it was forever ago! So why now am I getting the urge to write today? There was a particular occurrance this morning that has spurred me to write. Just keep in mind the subject of this entry.
When I was younger, much younger than I am now, I used to have an electronic journal. I had it stored away and password protected. I had a password to open it because the entries were basically me swooning over any moment I had with my neighbor, even if I just saw him walk his dog. I didn't want my family to know that I was gay at the time, and since I didn't have anyone to talk to, I thought that typing out my thoughts and feelings would help. I guess it did, but it was young and many of the entries were pointless anyway, haha! At one point, I was somehow going to put it online, but I found it to be very very very cumbersome. So I decided to just get a deadjournal and start there. Before posting online, the computer, which housed the journal, broke and I was devastated! Then I put the journal on a CD-RW. Aaah, memories. Anyway, I only reminisce because of what happened this morning and I'm smiling and thinking how juvenile this will be, but hey, I really enjoyed typing those entries.
Since I have a full-time desk job, I usually leave the house around 7:30 AM. (Side note: I've been debating whether or not to use his real name, but I've decided to do so because it means "sun" in Hindi and I find that absolutely beautiful.) My neighbor, Suraj, works for Wachovia doing I don't know what, but he wears suits and looks great in them! Anyway, I had just closed the door and looked up when I saw him, shirtless I will point out, putting the family dog outside. I got a nice look at his shoulders, but he was hunched over and I think he saw me, but I pretended not to notice that he was there. It was from a distance, but his shoulders looked so smooth and kissable. If I hadn't gotten over him (I had the biggest crush on him in high school!) I'm sure my heart would've skipped a beat. And that's basically all that happened. I did smile on the way to the car and as I got into it.
Yup, imagine me just talking about Suraj on a daily basis, but with a more high school crush twist to it. It sucked when I finally accepted the fact that he would never love me back or say, "I love you," to me. That's when I decided that having a high school crush on him was pointless. I will admit that I went to the same college as he did just because he chose to go there. I did get to drive him home a couple of times and he slept most of the way and I remember looking over to watch him sleep. Bad idea because I'm one of those guys who will crash his car because he got distracted by an attractive guy running/walking on the side of road and the danger is multiplied if he's shirtless and even moreso dangerous if he's sweating and glistening in the sun.
Now to completely switch gears, but have some connection for me. I was going through my blogroll and I came across this website and its effort to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It's called The Dog Tag Project and you basically pay $25 for a dog tags, one that says "Repeal DADT," while the other has the information of a discharged member or one going through the process of discharge because of DADT. The money goes toward helping to repeal DADT. I'm so very tempted to do this. As a romantic I've always wanted dog tags and I always visualized my significant other giving me his dog tags and I'd always wear them and remember him. I don't think I can do that with these dog tags though. A little bio comes with the tags so I'll know of the soldier affected by DADT. I love the idea, and I love spending money. I must resist until I get paid again.
And I'm done. =)
