Fucking up is what I do best.

Yup, I fuck up good all the time. So, I had plans to live off campus for the next school year. At the time, I wasn't sure what the plan was. I completed the binding housing contract and a couple of days later I find out the plan for living off campus. Surprise, it's a binding contract I cannot get out of and the only way to is to withdraw from the semester. Life fucking sucks.

Cabin Fever.

If there's one thing that I've been taught over the past couple of weeks is that I have no life. Sure, I do my work, but only because I'm bored. Hell, I don't procrastinate anymore! I suppose that's a good thing considering the factors. I either get all my work done or just cop out and do the minimum. I'm even giving myself extra work to do!

School is going well. The one thing I hate is this room. It's so fucking empty and it feels like I'm in a prison with the ugly ass white cinderblock walls. Since I went home last week, I didn't see any necessity in going home for my fall break, which was just Friday off. I'm thinking I should've gone home cause then at least I would've had TV or Emma to play with. All I did for three and a half days was do homework and even then, it was just the work for Monday. That's not saying much, but damn I was so fucking bored over the weekend. I did watch some movies with a friend and that was fun, but once I got back to my room, I just went bananas. Fuck, I'm going bonkers now! The boredom hurts more than tearing out a fresh suture. Well, I don't know how much that would hurt, but I just wanted to use the word, "suture," at least once. Hehe!

Fuck this.

Boredom Without the Sex and Sweat.

God, I hate the weekends. I have nothing to do! Homework? I have time before class and I usually get it done early or I can always just do it at sight or just bullshit my way.

I'd be lying if I said I was okay. I haven't been able to play a pick up game of volleyball since ever. I had a chance, but others got there before I could. I played tennis alone. I can only handle so much practicing my serve.

Over the week, I went to a couple parties, one on Thursday and then Friday. I really enjoyed the social atmosphere. Bah, I feel like a third wheel.

I don't think I'm cut out for VA Tech and/or Blacksburg. I miss home too much and all I've done all day was sleep.

I hate this entry. I don't even know why I'm bothering. No one reads this anyway.

I'm so frustrated, I can't think straight in order to have a coherent entry.

Sweat, Boredom, Sex?

The title is catchy, no? Or should it say, "Sweet Boring Sex?" IDK. LAWL I sed "IDK!" Okay, I'll stop.

Today was in between productive and just fucking boring. Last night, I fell asleep at twelve, I think. I woke up to take a shit and it's around 7 AM at this time. I get back into bed and guess what? You'll never guess! I couldn't get back to sleep. SURPRISE! I had way too much going through my head: 1) my eyes were open for more than five minutes, 2) I was waiting for e-mails from the contact person for both the Tennis Club and Volleyball Club, but only one decided that I was worth the time to whatever, 3) I was ultra excited about the prospect of group exercise classes. I know, right!

So my body and mind decided I didn't need anymore sleep and I got up and thought, "It's Sunday morning. People went out last night. They'll be too hungover to go to the gym!" So I got ready, i.e. put on a hat & deodorant, and got to the gym with no one there! Yay! It's sad when the girls in there are lifting heavier weights than you could wish you could hoist. Also, I had no clue what I was doing! Sure, I read all the instructions. As is tradition, I played with the settings of the strider machine during my program and well I had to start all over again. I'm a klutz AND and ditz! I'm a - you can't put those two together. I was in the gym for about an hour. I did some cardio running and then lifted some weights! I'm not sore, yet, but I'm sure I will be tomorrow.

After that nice wake up routine, I went to the computer lab, to see if by chance I got an e-mail from either clubs I was talking about earlier. Voila! I have! "Can you come out tomorrow at 9 AM?" I look at the date of the e-mail and "tomorrow" is TODAY and the fucking time is 8:40 AM! I don't have a racket! I don't have any tennis balls! What do I do? I go anyway and mooch off the president of the Tennis Club. Haha! He was nice! We warmed up and well, I suck. After I lost a tie breaker 7 - 1, I was thinking, "In order to salvage any confidence I have in my abilities as a tennis player, I'm going to need to stop." These guys trying out were intense! I told the president that the Club was above my level and thanked him and such.

After that, I was like, "Intramurals! Watch out! Here I come!" I went straight to the computer lad and signed up for tennis. I have plans to sign up for intramural volleyball when I can. While I was in the lab, I had heard about group exercise classes, which were free the first week of classes, but I didn't figure that out until like now. I signed up for an all year pass and for any of the classes and I even make a nifty spreadsheet of the exercise classes and my academic classes! I feel special! I looked at the exercise classes and chose the dancing ones. SURPRISE! I think I also have pilates and yoga planned. I have other exercise classes too, but I forgot what they are. I figure that since I'm very shy and awkward at the gym alone, I can be shy and awkward at an exercise class! I can't wait to dance!

Now, all of this entry may seem long, but other than what went through my head, that's all I fucking did. I saw a pick up game of volleyball, but they were already six-on-six and I didn't want to mess up the teams or do this rotate in/out shit, so I sat there and watched the cute shirtless boys slam that volleyball into the sand. I think I'm slowly picking up on technique when I'm watching these people play. Heck, I went online to like the official volleyball website of the world or something and I read up on how to spike and serve and all that jazzy stuff. Eventually, I left because they played another game and then later on, most of them left to eat or some shit. Oh well. I believe that the higher powers decree I only get a certain amount of exercise per day! I got my exercise in the morning and then that's it! What bullshit. Whatever. I didn't feel like doing my homework cause my brain is just not with it. During the tennis try outs, I was like zoning out. Of course it didn't help that I was at the gym for an hour beforehand, but I'm not one to complain. Or am I? Mwahaha!

I did mean to talk about sex, but I'm going to bed instead cause let's face it, wet dreams are better than nothing at all! I haven't masturbated in over a week!!!

*humming Long, Long Time Ago from Pan's Labyrinth*

Okay so I lied about updating about yesterday! You really shouldn't expect much from me. Meh! (That's me sticking my tongue out at you.)

My classes are all good. I'm definitely going to have to put a lot of effort into it and be on my toes (hence the shoe icon [YEA HENCE!]). I'm not perfect at translating ancient Greek and Latin, but then again no one is. I did slack a little bit on my first ancient Greek homework, which was taken up, but I swear to higher powers that I could not get my brain to transcribe English into ancient Greek. It just would not come out! My Latin classes are good. I know for a fact that I'm going to be expected to do more than what's assigned from my teachers. I think I'm at that point where I'm past veteran status in the system most classical teachers here at Tech use. In ancient Greek, I'm definitely intermediate/beginner because of the fact that I haven't had as much ancient Greek as I have had Latin. I finished my fifth year of Latin my senior year in high school, so I definitely have some experience. I better not slack this year!

Those are my ancient courses, designated by a maroon spiral notebook & folder combination and the letter stickers spelling "ancient" on the spiral. My, what I consider, "modern" courses are designated by a black spiral notebook & folder combo and stickers spelling "modern." Gosh, I'm predictable. Anyway, my modern classes are Art History and Greek (modern, everyday, spoken). I'm not sure how I'll do in my art history course. The professor said that it's the hardest introduction class at Tech. I believe her! We have just a semester to cover so much information. Just reading the first chapter, which was twenty-three pages WITH pictures, already bombarded me with information and yea, higher powers help me, dates. It is a history course so dates are expected. I have a system, but I'm going to need note cards, which are at home. Greek is also a bombardment, but it's spoken Greek! I have to do pages five and six in our workbook, but I have no idea what it's saying or what it wants! I can read Greek aloud fairly easily, but I have no idea what the words mean! Some words I can understand, but then you always have your you-cannot-draw-any-connections-between-me-and-English words. Those are the kickers of my ass. So I'm going to have an empty workbook tomorrow in class. We just went over the alphabet and read some words in Greek and that's it! The workbook is asking questions and we have to answer, all of this in Greek by the way. Hopefully everyone else will have the same problem. Haha! I'm a bastard!

You never realize how much you miss home until someone else says it. I knew that I missed home and Emma, but it didn't go "SMACK!" until I called my mom and she asked if I missed home. Yea. Luckily, I had forty milligrams of Prozac(R) today, so I'm not in my bed crying! Instead, I'm at the computer lab typing this entry and trying not to fall asleep. I do want to go to sleep though and it's only 8:24 PM! I woke up about twelve hours ago and I have to be awake in twelve hours. Funny how that works. I'm totally getting off subject. Haha! I meant to talk about missing my dog and home! I had a dream last night and it was at our house. Emma is running through holes in the fence with the dog next door and just running around. For some fucking reason, I'm mad at my family! I don't know why! I just yell at them. I mean, we're just in the kitchen making food for a party I think and I'm just blasting at them! I know what Freud would say. "You are just releasing any anger and aggression you have building inside of your unconscious mind, and those naughty dreams you've been having are completely natural since you have no outlet for your sexual energy," all of which is in a German accent by the way because it's just that much cooler with an accent.

Postponement.

I will update morrow about how my classes are going. I'm just waiting for our hall meeting at 10 PM, which is way late. That's like my bedtime and I have about ninety minutes to kill and no one's playing volleyball! I'm on a vball kick right now. My arms and legs are sore, but I wanna plaaaay! I might buy two balls, one that glows and just a regular one. People like playing at night a lot especially with a ball that blends in with its surroundings. Ouch.

I do want to point out that Paris Hilton is like mad popular when it comes to spam mail.